Dyslexic's say the darndest things

This Christmas me and my OUTOFCONTROL little sister had a special request for Diane(my mother, now that I'm 21 and adult like I call her that). We specified that we would like baseball shirts that said Dyslexics Untie. Most humans would realize this is quite funny because it should say dyslexics unite. BUT a dyslexic head would read it as untie not unite. Anywhosers that's what we wanted for you see we both have mild cases of the LEARNING DISABILITY dyslexia. Isn't that the worst name um hi I'm Becky and  have a learning disability and it's hard for me to learn...? What does that even mean? So Diane promptly worked to find us the perfect shirts to proudly parade around town hopefully causing a scene. 

Christmas eve comes and I get a glimpse of these beautiful tees. They are perfect, a glowing white tee with baby boy blue quarter length sleeves. My eyes were suddenly pulled to the center of the shirt it read dyslexics unite? What? My learning disabled head is suddenly very confused.  "MOM IT'S SUPPOSED TO SAY UNTIE NOT UNITE!" I proclaim to my mother. Diane then calmly puts on her primary teaching voice "Um Becky read it again." "OOOOOOOoooo boy" 

Christmas morning I can't wait for little sissy to rip open that present that holds her dyslexic pride baseball tee so we can slip into them and have an insta photo shoot. She begins to pull away little elf wrapping paper and realizes what she is holding "OH the dyslexic shirt! Wait why does it say unite?" OH no all stereotypes of dyslexic people had suddenly become true. My poor mother had to pull out that same primary voice again. "Jenny read it again." "OOOOHHHhh." 

The shirt that were made to trick us had... and we loved every second of it. Now this is not the only funny (but really its mostly embarrassing) time we've had as dyslexics in fact i've had to google how to spell half the words I'm typing. Here's some of our best lines

Becky: "Hey where are Sade and Cadie dang it I mean Cade and Sadie."

"My bed is under my pillow" -Jenny

At the dinner table "Pass me the mustard I mean the mayonnaise, I mean the salt, I mean the salad dressing, gosh the butter!" -Jenny. (what none of those things have anything in common)

At school the teacher asks "Becky how do you spell pencil, you've spelled it wrong on your paper." Becky: "AAh I honestly couldn't tell you." Teacher: "P.E.N.C.I.L." Becky: "Oh yeah I would have put an E on the end." (I'm a junior in college)

Elementary Student: "Miss Becky how do you spell cousin." Becky: "Um hold on...." I'm now trying to write it with my finger on the desk... nothing... i write it on paper... that doesn't look right....ok now i'm typing it in a text...nope still can't do it. Becky:  "hey Sally how do you spell cousin?" Sally: "C.O.U.S.I.N" (she's in 2nd grade) Becky: "Oh yes Sally very good" Sally: "Is that one of my spelling words?" 

One day I call my home, ring ring ring, someone answers with: "Heavenly Father?!" Becky: "UM Jenny?"